Getting Davised

Every once in a while, a topic or experience comes along that transcends race, creed, class, or gender. Even more rarely does an experience seem to be focused in a particular geographic area. What I am about to discuss may be disturbing, thought provoking, enraging, or simply appalling. Those who read this with small children around may want them to cover their eyes.

I am, of course, talking about getting Davised.

Davised: verb

Meaning: To be told by a smug and self righteous member of the Davis community how
something should be done or how something should appear.

The basic Davis-ing
1) The person "enlightening" you is a) Older b) A university employee c) Some type of overpaid intellectual.
2) They are always indignant and self righteous.
3) Their suggestion is always plainly obvious.

Most people reading this probably know what I'm talking about, but in case you don't, let me run through some examples.

A friend of mine was taking out the garbage and was headed down to the dumpster to chuck the bag in. He noticed the bag was leaking some mixture of water/ soda/ coffee. This concoction was dripping onto a public sidewalk in downtown Davis. A "helpful" elderly woman stopped him on the way and said, "Your bag is dripping" and then looked at him expectantly. My friend was of course, speechless. Obviously he was so stupid as to notice that the bag was dripping! But even more obviously, he should clean up the offending mess that is now on a concrete sidewalk!

Another example

Another friend was briefly walking down a bike lane in Davis before crossing the street to his car. A truck came tearing down the street, missing my friend by inches. The driver pulled over ahead of him, got out of the car (elderly intellectual of course), approached, and said, "There are biking lanes and walking lanes, you're in the wrong one." Thank you Captain obvious! Did you buzz me with your truck to teach me a lesson? Or is your advanced age compromising your eyesight?

This morning, a co-worker emerged from his home to find his car covered in toilet paper. He is still of the age where is friends find this funny. Based on his telling, his car was buried under what had to be an entire case of TP. As he was cleaning the paper off his car, a lady and her dog walked by and stopped. "That's a lot of toilet paper. Its really quite wasteful." As if he would have done that to his own car! Her powers of reasoning must have been running on overdrive that day because that was a brilliant synopsis.

Moral of the story. Mind your own business. Your comments are not helpful or asked for.

I'll invite anyone reading this to share their own stories or experiences. I am quite sure that this is a phenomenon that exists only in Davis, but I am prepared to stand corrected.